Some ugly reminders of my drunken past

I have listed below some ugly reminders of my drunken past (spanning over twenty years) to help me stay on track:

• Secretly drinking from friends' glasses while they were out of the room
• Dinner party with parents from my children's new school
• Hangovers from hell
• My dad's fireworks party
• Looking bloated, red and puffy with blood shot eyes
• Throwing up and clogging up the sink
• Driving home
• Wine- stained lips and tongue 
• Banging headaches
• Upsetting my children
• Feeling remorseful, paranoid, guilty and full of self-loathing
• Wondering what I said or did
• Eating junk food
• Wetting the bed
• Making a complete tit of myself
• Not remembering anything
• Keeping bad company
• Drinking all my father-in-law's Tia Maria
• Chain smoking
• Lying 
• Losing my self-respect
• Popping too many painkillers
• Almost killing myself on a wine glass
• Being boring and terrible company
• Getting in a car with a total stranger
• Drinking a bottle of wine before going to a party
• Being horrible to my husband
• Feeling like I've let everyone down

I can't quite believe this list (which could probably go on and on).  I have been in denial for so long, always labelling myself as a harmless 'social drinker'.